I am Saddam, Saddam I am,
Feared and mighty half-god man.
I’m Uncle Sam, Sam I am.
Come and join my master plan.
You ignore the time that I have taken
To portray you as the Great White Satan.
Continue for appearance sake
Think of the gains we all shall make.
Your generous offer I shall take.
Diplomacy is a piece of cake.
Greetings Saddam, it’s Uncle Sam
Would you like to bomb Iran?
I would not like to bomb Iran
Praise be to Allah and Koran!
It’s all part of the master plann
We’ll sell you weapons despite the ban.
Those weapons are against convention!
Ignore Geneva. Pay not attention.
I’ll use these weapons against the Kurds
And flush them all the useless turds.
Should the liberals dare resist
We’ll call the fags and communists.
Under my boot all shall toil
I think I’ll grab Kuwaiti soil.
You mean you plan to steal all the oil
Such an evil scheme we must foil.
I thought we had a plan, my friend
Surely my conduct does not offend?
Our armed forces we must not send
For noble, humanitarian ends.
I could carry on, but what’s the use. It’s all a homage to Dr Seuss.