I am Saddam, Saddam I am,

Feared and mighty half-god man.

I’m Uncle Sam, Sam I am.

Come and join my master plan.

You ignore the time that I have taken

To portray you as the Great White Satan.

Continue for appearance sake

Think of the gains we all shall make.

Your generous offer I shall take.

Diplomacy is a piece of cake.


Greetings Saddam, it’s Uncle Sam

Would you like to bomb Iran?

I would not like to bomb Iran

Praise be to Allah and Koran!

It’s all part of the master plann

We’ll sell you weapons despite the ban.

Those weapons are against convention!

Ignore Geneva. Pay not attention.

I’ll use these weapons against the Kurds

And flush them all the useless turds.

Should the liberals dare resist

We’ll call the fags and communists.

Under my boot all shall toil

I think I’ll grab Kuwaiti soil.

You mean you plan to steal all the oil

Such an evil scheme we must foil.

I thought we had a plan, my friend

Surely my conduct does not offend?

Our armed forces we must not send

For noble, humanitarian ends.


I could carry on, but what’s the use. It’s all a homage to Dr Seuss.